Things I've Tried in the Name of Self Improvement

I’ve tried ayahuasca in Hawaii, dressed all-in-white, while shitting my pants.

I’ve tried working with a life coach that held me accountable, while sexually harassing me.

I’ve tried crystals, cold water plunges, breathwork and Bible study.

I’ve tried Mormonism, mantras, mushrooms and microdosing.

I’ve tried static dance, somatic movement and orgasmic breathing.

I’ve tried climbing the Italian Dolomites in freezing weather, without a helmet.

I’ve tried psychedelic retreats with intentions and prompts.

I’ve tried MDMA, EMDR, CTR, YOLO, and ROFL.

I’ve tried spiritual fasting, social-media fasting and sexual fasting.

I’ve tried journaling, juicing, jogging and journey’s.

I’ve tried following prophets, following the Huberman Lab and following my heart.

I’ve tried canceling culture, canceling vacations and canceling Amazon.

I’ve tried birthing babies, baking bread, boob jobs and Botox.

I’ve tried inner-child healing and inner-ear surgery.

I’ve tried Reiki, poetry, charity and therapy.

I’ve tried finding myself.

I’ve tried losing myself.

I’ve tried being married.

I’ve tried being divorced.

I’ve tried being strong.

I’ve tried being vulnerable.

I’ve tried praying.

I’ve tried repenting.

I’ve tried Atheism.

I’ve tried Buddhism.

I’ve tried staying-in-control.

I’ve tried letting go.

I’ve tried…

Celeste- February 2024